苍蝇动力飞机

陶子

于2010-09-09 23:56:11翻译 | 已有4672人浏览

各位宅男闲得蛋疼之时不妨一试。

Take a wooden matchstick andslice a thin sliver from one side. Then cut the remaining stick in two,lengthwise. Make sure you leave a little of the red tip intact foreffect. Discard one half.

找一根木梗火柴，从一端割开一个口子，然后竖着把火柴劈成两长条。出于美观考虑火柴前面的小红头要完整噢，没有小红头的那一半有别的用。

Makethe aircraft by glueing the sliver of wood - the wing - across theremaining part of the matchstick - the fuselage. If you want, you canuse little scraps to make a tail section. Or you can make a biplane. Oryou can use a couple of thin slices of balsa to make a huge wing, onethat will carry maybe twenty engines. Indulge your aeronautical whims.Think of lift, think of thrust, think of innovation without the benefitof an industrial policy.

下面开始造飞机了，另一条小木片截取合适的长度做机翼，用胶水把机翼和第一片木条（机身）粘成十字架的形状。如果你追求完美或者实在太闲，还可以把零碎的下脚料粘成机尾部分，或者做成复翼飞机。又或者你可以用轻质的木片搞个大点的机翼，没准可以装20个引擎。尽管纵容你的飞天奇想吧。考虑垂直提升，向前猛冲，或是产业政策都不愿意补助的各种革新方案吧。

Catcha bunch of flies. Put them in a jar and put the jar in the freezer. In afew seconds the flies will be chilled out completely. This is calledcryogenics, and it has its drawbacks. For example, the flies will bedead flies if you freeze them too long. Dead flies are no good. So ifyou're a tinkerer, refrigerate your flies. It takes longer to make themcomatose, but they have a higher recovery rate than the ones you leavein the freezer next to the burritos.

逮一些苍蝇，把它们捉进罐子里，再把罐子放进冰箱的冷冻室。只消一小会苍蝇肯定都冻晕过去了。这就是低温生物学，当然这办法也有点麻烦。比如说，苍蝇要是冻太久，就会冻死。死苍蝇就不好玩了。你要是技术不熟练，就用冷藏室。这样的话苍蝇要多冻一会儿才会昏过去，但是比起跟你的冰棍搁一块儿冷冻，这样会有更高的存活率。

Meanwhile, put a tiny drop of rubber cement at each place along the wing where you want an engine.

冻苍蝇的同时，在机翼上确定你想要装引擎的地方，抹上橡胶浇水（502应该也行吧）。

Takethe flies out of the freezer. Attach the abdomen of one frigid fly toeach drop of glue. Make sure all the flies are facing the samedirection.

把苍蝇取出来，把冷冻苍蝇的肚子粘在机翼的引擎位置上。务必保证它们头都朝着同一个方向。

Breathe life into the flies. A miracle: A gentle puff of your warm breath will resuscitate the flies.

把苍蝇吹活。你温热的呼吸能使苍蝇复活，好神奇！

Launchthe aircraft. It should fly like a charm, and, far from being cruel tothe flies, you'll be teaching them a new and valuable thing, one thatbrings us to the virtue of this exercise. For we see that while fliesthink a lot alike, have a great deal in common, share many of the samehopes and dreams, they never act in concert, as a team, with regard forthe worth of other, neighboring flies until forced to by grimcircumstance - as, for example, when they are harnessed to fly andeither first experience the exhilaration of high-altitude cooperation ordie. Redeemed by such a critical choice, they'll soar like a glider,race like a Stealth, and, when overflying a barnyard or kennel, turninto a wicked-awesome dive bomber.

飞机该起飞了，放心，它肯定会飞得很好。你并没有虐待苍蝇哦，你只是给它们上了一堂课，教育它们一些新的有价值的东西，人类可就是靠这些精神才走到今天这一步的。我们知道苍蝇的思维方式都非常相似，它们有很多共同之处，都有着共同的希望和梦想，但是它们从来都不会像一个团队那样行动一致，为他蝇着想。除非到了关键时刻，比如被利用来开飞机，要么先享受一下合作高空飞行的愉悦感，要么就去死。面对如此生死攸关的选择，它们会像滑翔机一样一飞冲天，会像隐形飞机一样快速冲刺，而且它们飞过脏乱的猪圈狗窝时，会变成一架非常牛逼的俯冲轰炸机！