The Real Thing

货真价实

Last night I saw Donny at a house party near the beach.  He was wearing an Armani sports jacket and loafers while the rest of us wore shorts and sandals.  I thought his choice of apparel was interesting, because back when we lived together he didn’t even own a sports jacket or loafers.

昨晚我在海滩的家庭派对上见到了唐尼，他穿着阿玛尼的运动衫和一双皮拖鞋，而我们其他人都穿着随意的短裤和凉鞋。看到他这身装束，我觉得很有意思，因为我们过去生活在一起的时候他连一件运动衫，一双按皮拖鞋都没有。

He also brought two bottles of Cristal (really expensive champagne) to the party.  It was the first time I’d ever seen Cristal – outside of hip-hop music videos.  Actually, the closest I’d come to seeing it was on my first date with Angel several years ago.  After a nice dinner, I ran to the liquor store, bought a bottle of Cristalino (a cheap sparkling wine), cut the ‘ino’ off the label, and tried to make her laugh.

他还带来了两瓶相当昂贵的克里斯托香槟酒，以前我们只有在嘻哈音乐视频里才看过这种酒。其实，最近一次如此接近地看这酒已经是几年前和安琪初次约会的时候了——我和她美餐了一顿后，去酒水店买了一瓶克里斯托里诺（一种廉价的汽酒），把里诺两个字刮掉逗她开心。

“Inventive,” she said, “Just not too smooth.”

“有创意哦，”她说：“但不太成功。”

But this was the real thing.  And several party goers circled around Donny hoping to grab a glass before it was gone. “Just like old times, man,” Sam said to me. “Donny is still the life of the party!”

但是唐尼带了的这瓶可是货真价实的。几个派对上少不了的人围着唐尼，挣着在酒被抢光之前喝上一杯。山姆对我说：“伙计，和当年一样，唐尼还是派对的焦点啊。”

Still So Crazy

依旧疯狂

After the two bottles were gone, and people were again drinking Keystone Light (a cheap beer), I stood on the patio with Donny, Sam, and Chad – my old college buddies.

两杯好酒一抢而光之后，大家又开始喝便宜的吉斯通光啤酒，我和大学里的老朋友唐尼，山姆和查德站在露台上。

“Do you remember that time when Donny got drunk and broke every lamp in our dorm?” Sam asked.  “We spent three whole nights studying and eating by candlelight until he bought us those ugly Victorian lamps he found at a garage sale.”

山姆回忆道：“你们还记得有一次唐尼喝醉了之后弄断了宿舍里的台灯吗？我们连续三个晚上点蜡烛自习吃饭，直到他从旧货甩卖那里弄来一个丑不拉几的维多利亚台灯。”

Sam, Chad and I laughed at the recollection.  Back then, it was normal for Donny to spontaneously smash little things (like beer cans and plastic cups) when he was drunk.  But that night he went on a rampage.  And we owned a set of gaudy Victorian lamps for the next two years to prove it.

想到这么逗的往事，我们都哈哈大笑。那时候，唐尼经常喝醉之后砸东西，啤酒罐啊，塑料杯啊，什么小东西都砸。可是就那天晚上他闹大了，我们有这套俗吧俗吧的台灯作证。

Donny shook his head disapprovingly.  “Come on guys, not in front of my girlfriend,” he said, directing us with his eyes to the girl on his arm.  “I’ve moved on.  Respect me for that.”

唐尼不以为然地摇摇头，说：“得啦，兄弟们，别再我女朋友面前说啦！”说着用眼睛瞟了瞟挽着他胳膊的姑娘。“我有进展了，给我点面子吧。”

I looked at the girl gripping Donny’s arm.  Though she’d been with him all night, I hadn’t really noticed her, and she hadn’t said a word.  I looked at Donny and smiled, but I didn’t know what to say.  Sam and Chad were smiling too, but they didn’t know what to say either.  Luckily, Donny broke the awkward silence.  “Why don’t I get another bottle of Cristal out of the car,” he said. “Ya know… for old times sake.”

我看了看那女孩，她紧抓着唐尼的胳膊，一个晚上都跟他呆在一起，我却没怎么注意到她，因为她似乎一言不发。我冲唐尼笑了笑，也不知该说什么好，山姆和查德亦是如此，大家陷入了一丝尴尬的沉默。不过好在唐尼发话了：“我再去从车里拿一瓶克里斯托吧，老朋友嘛！”

“Yeah man, yeah!” Sam said. “You’re still so crazy!”

“好！真够哥们儿的！”山姆说：“你还是那么疯狂啊！”

Nostalgia and Negation

去还是留

When I got home last night I stayed up and thought about what happens to us as time passes.  We change.  And as we change, we grow and move toward new people and experiences, and we make decisions and judgments about the people and experiences that we move away from.

昨天我到家之后迟迟不睡，思索多年之后我们这见面的场景。我们在变化和成长的过程中，接触新的人和事发展，同时对渐行渐远的熟悉的人和事做出评价。

We typically either choose to engage and move closer (nostalgia), or we choose to disengage and move farther away (negation).  Nostalgia isn’t good because we’re holding onto what’s no longer there.  But negation isn’t good either because we’re pretending that what was once there never existed.

我们要么还念往昔，和老朋友跟亲密些，要么远走高飞，脱离这一切。怀旧是没有用的，因为过往已不复存在，但脱离关系也不行因为我们不能假装没有经历旧日的美好。

When we’re too close to something (nostalgia), we can’t see clearly.  Sometimes we even see things that aren’t there at all.  For example, Sam wanted to know Donny as he remembered him – a crazy party animal.  But the bottles of Cristal didn’t make Donny crazy, they made him high-priced.  Donny had long since stopped being the party animal we all knew in college.

当我们太怀旧的时候，我们会陷入迷茫，甚至会沉浸于虚幻之中。就想山姆印象中的唐尼就是当年那个派对狂人，但是能买得起克里斯托的唐尼已然跻身上流社会，不在是我们大学时代的那个派对狂人了。

When we’re too far away from something (negation), we can’t see it at all.  And we begin to lose a part of ourselves that can be a source of great happiness, understanding and direction.  For example, Donny had lots of good friends and experiences from his college years, and his girlfriend would have loved to share in them with him.  I know this because she told me before I left the party last night.

我们太急于与过往断绝时，我们就会全然忘记那一切，会失去一部分自我，那一部分恰恰是无比的幸福感，相互理解和人生方向。正如唐尼曾经在大学时代交了一帮好朋友，留下一段美好的经历。他女朋友离开时告诉我她非常希望唐尼能和她分享这些。

Clarity

清晰明了

Clarity comes, I think, in being able to recognize the perils of both nostalgia and negation.  It’s simply about appreciating the past without trying to relive it, learning from the past without running away from it, and seeing people and experiences as they are in this moment – sometimes happy, sometimes sad, never perfect, always a one of a kind.

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